


A Normal Humanoid Response

by KanarandTarkaleanTea



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 06:39:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13781880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanarandTarkaleanTea/pseuds/KanarandTarkaleanTea
Summary: A vignette about loss





	A Normal Humanoid Response

Even though he often gets the urge, he doesn't allow himself to cry in front of his patients. Not because he's embarrassed, of course. In spite of what some species in the quadrant think, he knows that crying in the vast majority of humanoids is a healthy, natural, and necessary response to a variety of stimuli. And it is every bit as important for caretakers as for the ill and suffering to give vent to their emotions. As professor Ambrose back at the Academy had said, self care was essential in being a good physician, and crying was one of the only way to truly decompress. Bottling up was detrimental to both the doctor and their future patients.  
Still, as a doctor, Julian Bashir has learned that it is necessary to hold back his own tears until an appropriate time so as not to upset his patients. It is for this reason that he feels so bad about the tears that are bubbling up as he takes Garak's hand. "There's nothing I can do," he says, and his years of maintaining a stoic façade in front of a terminal patient dissolves."I'm so sorry, my love." And in spite of the fact he has had over a half-century of practice in restraining his tears until a more appropriate time, he can't help the welling of tears in his eyes, can't discreetly flick the moisture away before a large drop rolls down his cheek.  
Garak, so thin now, but his eyes unchanged after all of these years, even if they do stare out of a deathly pale face, manages a smile through the pain. "It's all right, my dear." He gives Bashir's hand a light squeeze. "I'm sorry I made you cry."  
The words unleash the torrent that Bashir had tried so hard to hold back. He presses his face into the blankets covering Garak's chest. He sniffles, mucus filling his nose and smearing in the bed sheets. He wants to apologize again. He's sorry he's falling apart when Garak is the one who is dying. He's sorry that his genetically enhanced brain has been unable to find a cure. He's sorry for a million things, most of which aren't his fault but that he's sorry for nonetheless.  
"I love you so much," he manages to say between sobs.  
"And I love you, Julian. More than words can say."  
Garak holds him, let's him cry. His broad, scaled shoulders are still strong enough to bear this. He's a sick old man, but he's helped rebuild his world and has had many years with the man he loves more than he thought himself capable of loving. His thoughts aren't for himself now, but for the gentle creature he's holding.  
"It's all right, my dear. Just let it out."

**Author's Note:**

> Not-edited. I just needed to write something during a difficult time


End file.
